Never Again

No one knows the day and the time when these things will happen, not even the angels in the heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows. –Matthew 24:36

I am staring at the curtain; behind the curtain is his lifeless body.

Just as the curtain hides the burning truth, I too, concealed the pain.

The formalin sting my eyes, his passing strike my heart.

This is not the moment with him I picture in my head.

I picture him bringing or fetching me with his bike to somewhere,

clad in his uniform because I am so proud of him,

and I want everyone to know.

I picture the few moments we had in my mind.

Those moments I wish I stretched to more minutes.

Snap back to reality, he is gone.

Instead of words, I prayed with sobs.

Instead of words, I comfort them with a pat in the shoulder.

Then my heart betrayed me; it became weak to hold the pain that it needs my eyes,

from there gushed a thousand pails of tears.

I breathe hard, the pain remains.

I breathe hard, the reality lingers.

Days passed and some things haunt me day and night,

the could haves in the morning, the should haves at night

and the what if’s in between.

They are crushing to the heart, unforgiving to the spirit.

Days passed and I learn more things about this guy.

Why do I learn about him only now?

Why only now?

From then on, I vowed,

Never again.

Today, I will go the extra mile – find time to drop by, send that text message I have been putting off,

tell a compliment, share a joke, always find time, be present.

I will be there; I will try to always be there, because I promise to myself…

Never again.

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